We just finished our last session of pre-marital counseling. I admit that before the first session, I had thought,”We have dated for 8 years, what do we not know about each other already? It’ll just be useful in teaching us some more conflict resolution skills and how to transition into a young married couple.” Boy was I wrong. It only took those 5 hours for me to realize how much more there is to Peter I still need to uncover (not just the clothes…..hahahahahaha…ah sorry just had to throw that in there). I am that much more excited about marriage because it’s going to open so many windows - good and bad ones - into each other’s mind, heart, and soul.
A few main points from our sessions:
1) God is our measuring stick. Everyone around us has their own standards, hopes, thoughts, and opinions of us. But we only need to worry about how we measure up to God’s unchanging standards. We aren’t here to please everyone nor can we ever. We will disappoint each other and everyone else all the time. We are changing beings but God isn’t thankfully.
2) Communication is not resolution. Resolution requires both of us to put our feelings out on the table, even if we fear disrupting peace. Resolution requires us to consider both person’s thoughts and to decide upon what is best for the situation, not what is best according to us.
3) How we were raised influences who we are today in ways deeper than we could have ever imagined. We can’t change how we were raised - that’s the past. But we can change how we respond to situations moving forward. It also shows me just how important it is to set an example of a godly heart to our future children. We are going to need all of God’s help and wisdom when that time comes - no way can we do it alone
So many other things but these were the overarching themes through our sessions. The best thing though? The more we learn, the more we love each other - despite how overwhelmingly imperfect we are.